


The Nail That I Hit

by Anonymous



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Ass Play, Bottom Seo Changbin, But Chan doesn't know that, Chan is a little dumbed down in this, Changbin in panties, Confident virgin Seo Changbin, Consensual Somnophilia, Dom/sub Undertones, Donghyun (Golden Child) makes a brief cameo, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, I MEAN IT (Katya voice), I always say that but this time, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, M/M, Masturbation, Oblivious Bang Chan, Oblivious Seo Changbin, Oral Sex, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Roommates, Semi Nonlinear Narrative, Sex Toys, Somnophilia, Subspace, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Top Bang Chan, actually so is Changbin, mentioned Kim Seungmin/Hwang Hyunjin, mentioned Lee Minho/Han Jisung, mentioned YoungK, muscle bottom Changbin, they're just himbos in love, this is just porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:20:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29394672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Hyunjin came over later that evening, took one look at Changbin’s marked-up neck and announced, “Gross!” to the room at large. He shook a finger in Chan’s face and told them both to never let him see shit like that again, and then exited the way he came.Or: This is a love letter to Seo Changbin’s ass. Signed, Bang Chan
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin
Comments: 22
Kudos: 139
Collections: SKZ Fuckfest





	The Nail That I Hit

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SKZ Fuckfest on Twitter. Prompt: Person A really likes the idea of being woken up by Person B fucking them :) Title taken from Polite Dance Song by the bird and the bee.
> 
> If you're expecting substance beyond the summary... I'd look elsewhere. Sometimes you just gotta write himbo!Chan. All spicy scenes were written while listening to the entirety of Kai's solo album, because he provided us with some delicious fucking food.
> 
> This is entirely self-indulgent.
> 
> Do heed all tags.
> 
> TW: Sexual harassment. There is a passing mention of someone getting harassed in a nightclub. It is not described in detail at all, but if you would like to avoid it, it begins with, “Chan sat on the small stool,” and ends with, “’Here, let me see it.’”

Chan found his new roommate through their mutual good buddy and all-around best guy in the world (his words), Jisung. It was nine months going and so far, the going was (mostly) good. Changbin couldn’t cook to save his or anyone else’s life, but he was decent about cleaning up after himself—sometimes—and he was in general a fun and easygoing guy to hang around with. Chan thought their personalities meshed pretty well.

“Not to mention you’re in love with his fat as hell ass,” Minho reminded, his gaze absolutely turning judgmental over his cards.

“Will you kindly shut the fuck up?” Chan said sweetly, drawing from the top of the deck. _Yes_. He could feel his grin was evil as he switched out a card and discarded face down. “Gin,” he announced, fanning his cards out face-up, causing everyone else around the table to groan. “That puts me just above 300,” he continued, counting his cards. “Are we going to five hundred or are we stopping here?”

“Can’t, I gotta get back,” Hyunjin replied, adding his cards to the growing pile. “Seungmin’s expecting me home to finish Secretary Kim. We’ve only got two episodes to go.”

“You two are so cute, I can't wait for the day you pull your head out of your ass and propose to him,” Jisung cooed, reaching over to pinch Hyunjin’s cheek.

“Maybe I’m waiting for him to make the move, ever think about that?” Hyunjin shot back, slapping Jisung's hand away.

“I try _not_ to think about Seungmin on his knees, no offense.” Jisung’s cheeky grin was extra cheeky thanks to the cheese balls he’d just shoved inside his mouth, holding the open canister like an acorn. He ducked when Hyunjin swung at him in retaliation and cheese balls went rolling across the floor.

“You’re cleaning that up,” Minho sighed, then turned his attention back to Chan. “So when are you going to finally take your roomie to church so we can stop hearing about it?” he asked, bringing the conversation back around to things Chan would rather not talk about.

“Who says he hasn’t already?” Jisung said from under the table, voice muffled. “Changbin told me a few choice things that make me think they’ve already touched each other’s no-no bits.”

“LA LA LA LA I’M NOT LISTENING TO THIS,” Hyunjin sang loudly, plugging his ears and standing up. “GO BE DISGUSTING SOMEWHERE ELSE PLEASE AND THANK YOU, I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE WHOLE RIDE HOME THINKING ABOUT MY HYUNGS FUCKING, OKAY?”

“Hyunjin, if you’re spending a good chunk of time thinking about other people fucking, that’s kind of on you, isn’t it?” Minho asked as everyone gathered their things and helped Jisung clean up.

Minho and Jisung bid Chan and Hyunjin goodbye at the front door of their apartment, and Hyunjin waved at Chan a moment later as they split up, Hyunjin headed for Nakseongdae Station, Chan walking because his place wasn’t far from Minho and Jisung’s.

He stopped off at the corner store before heading home to replenish his vape supplies, and opted for the stairs because Chan liked to feel the burn in his thighs (plus the elevator wasn’t always where it said it would be). By the time he got to his apartment door, Chan wasn’t out of breath, but he was a little labored, his heart rate picked up just a tiny bit. Maybe he needed to do more cardio.

Or maybe it was because he knew immediately what was waiting for him on the other side of the door.

Because he could hear the music from two doors down, not loud enough to have the building supervisor called on them, but enough that Chan could pick out just where in the routine he was. It was not what Chan had expected to come home to. Fuck, he'd forgotten it was Wednesday. 

He took a breath and unlocked and opened the door.

“Squat! Step-touch! Another plié! Good!”

“I’m home,” Chan announced, eyes already glued to the tableau in front of him.

“Hey!” Changbin greeted, going through the fitness routine the trainer was barking at them from Changbin’s laptop situated on the island counter that divided the kitchen from their living room. A clearly pirated CherFitness: A New Attitude was streaming on YouTube, the same early 90s workout tape Changbin had been obsessed with for as long as Chan had known him. Though sometimes Changbin switched it up with Buns of Steel. Chan tried to be out of the place completely when he did that one.

“Cher says she has respect and admiration for me,” Changbin announced, panting. At least, that’s what Chan thought he said, because Changbin had dropped back down into a squat and Chan’s brain decided to check the fuck out. All Chan could focus on was ass. Beautifully sculpted, fat as hell ass, as Minho had called it (and he wasn't wrong. Oh God, he wasn't wrong).

Changbin did a series of squats (ass) before moving with the group on the workout tape into deep lunges (ass). Shirtless, in only black compression shorts. It (meaning ass) was, in a word, mesmerizing, and Chan was having a hard time concentrating on anything else. Literally anything else. He hung his jacket up and it dropped right to the floor.

“Well, she should,” Chan muttered, finally tearing his eyes away (from that ass). “I’m gonna hit the bathroom first, if you won’t be done for a while.”

“Yes, please get naked,” Changbin said, cheeky, dropping down to the floor for some inner thigh isolations and yep, it was time for Chan to go. He had to leave. Now.

In their shared bedroom, he pressed the button on the thermostat for the hot water but didn't bother to wait, stripping as he entered the bathroom and shoving his clothes into the closet hamper. He stepped around the partition that barely separated the shower from the rest of the bathroom and flicked the water on, jumping a little as it came out cool. Still, nothing could calm his burgeoning erection. God fucking hell, he had completely forgotten that Changbin had changed his aerobics night to Wednesdays. Chan had been completely taken off-guard and now he was all keyed up, his entire body attuned to the half-naked man sweating in their common area.

Chan took hold of his half-chubbed cock and started jerking furiously, wanting to just come and get it out of his system before he did something embarrassing like moan really loud, or call out Changbin’s name.

The loud knock on the door and it opening was not on Chan's list of things that needed to happen just then. “Gotta piss,” Changbin announced, door banging loudly behind him, bouncing off the jamb and rattling in its track. Chan froze, turning to hide his erection but Changbin never even once glanced over, keeping his eyes down, a learned habit from cohabitating a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment.

That was, until Chan made a strangled gurgle, too turned on to offer the same courtesy as he blatantly watched Changbin pull his dick out of his shorts. His cock rose full mast, entirely against his will. His roommate whipped his head around, alarm clear on his face, but Chan wasn't drowning. He was just dying of shame and arousal.

Changbin was quick to take in what was happening, a smirk on his face as Chan flushed. “Chris, what are you doing?” he crooned, popping his shorts back into place after he was finished. He made no indication of leaving, instead crossing his generous arms under his even more generous naked tits.

“Sorry, I just—your ass,” Chan managed, not possessing the good sense his mama gave him to take his hand off his junk.

“This old thing?” Changbin asked with the shittiest of shit-eating grins, turning around and arching his back, knowing how pronounced that made everything. He hooked his thumbs under the waistband and made a show of rolling the shorts slowly down his gorgeously rounded buttocks. There were two perfectly placed dimples on either side of his spine just above the swell that deserved to be licked.

“Fuck,” Chan breathed out, eyes glued. He grabbed his cock again and started tugging in earnest.

“Hyung, I didn't know you liked my ass so much.” Changbin’s voice was coy, and annoying.

Chan made a strangled noise, shaking his head rigidly. “Just—don't talk.”

The look on Changbin's face was impish, if Chan had been looking there. Instead, his heated gaze was on where Changbin had leaned over, his hands spreading his cheeks, widening his stance. His cute little asshole winked at him and Chan moaned out loud at that, his hand speeding up on his dick. He felt drunk, all of him absorbed with the view of Changbin’s naked arse. “Anything else?” Changbin asked, sounding beyond amused but Chan couldn’t have given two shits right then.

“Maybe make them clap a little?”

Changbin’s laugh was surprised, but he just rolled his eyes. He arched his back a little more and played with his buttocks, making them jiggle, watching Chan watch him. It was the eye contact as much as the view that tipped Chan over the edge.

Chan bit down hard on his lip when he came, but it didn’t stop the guttural cry that ripped straight from his throat when he did so. The showerhead washed his come down the drain.

“Feel better?” Changbin pulled his shorts back up and blew Chan a kiss as he left the bathroom. “Glad I could be of assistance.”

\--

Yeah, okay, so sharing an apartment with Changbin came with a few more perks than any of Chan’s previous roommates. It was a mutually beneficial relationship. Well, not _relationship_. Not like that. They definitely weren’t anything like that.

So they fooled around sometimes. Of course they did, they were two men-loving males living in an apartment together in not the most accepting country in the world. As Changbin liked to say, they found each other at least not disgusting, so when outside prospects for hooking up were low, Chan turned to his roommate. Hand jobs, blow jobs, some play here and there. They were just two dudes in their twenties, continually disappointing their parents and trying to figure out their way through life.

So what if Chan was completely, totally, absolutely in love with his flatmate? You shove that shit down into your bowels and you hope it doesn’t fester, and you smile when they inevitably settle down with a ‘nice girl’ and you cry into your bottle of soju when you’re finally alone, knowing the best you’ve got to look forward to is some handy in a bathroom stall from a guy who’s only situationally attractive (and the situation is you’re alone, sad, drunk, and horny). This was the future Chan could look forward to. Didn’t stop him from licking his lips when Changbin gave him _that_ look after a particularly vicious round of Mario Kart. The one that said loser gets on his knees.

It was during one of those dry spells that Chan found himself pulling Changbin onto his lap. The movie they had started was continuing without them. Changbin was so easy to distract; a line of kisses down the side of his neck and he was putty in Chan’s hands, soft and pliable except where he wasn’t, the hard line of his cock like heaven against Chan’s as he unhurriedly jerked them both off. He loved that Changbin was an adaptive learner; from their first hookup on, Changbin knew Chan’s body better than anyone, and could play him so expertly, from the kinks Chan favored all the way down to how just a bare tweak of his nipple could send him over if he were stimulated enough. Chan liked to think the knowledge went both ways.

They were just drunk enough that Chan thought Changbin might finally allow a kiss; usually (and by usually he meant _all the time_ ), Changbin found it too intimate—too much like actual boyfriends, Chan guessed—but lately it seemed almost like a game and Chan was close to winning. Or maybe not; Changbin twisted away from Chan and looked back toward the screen, some steamy thriller with a plot that made little to no sense and had a lot of skin on display. The kind of movie that paired perfectly with a blender of margaritas and a bowl or two in Chan’s favorite rig. Chan glanced at the screen, too; looked like the leading man was about to surprise his girlfriend with a nighttime fuck. “That’s so sketchy,” Chan rumbled, a laugh in his throat.

“I dunno, it could be your hand on my dick, _but_ ,” Changbin smirked, doing that thing where he bit his bottom lip. You know, one of the many things that drove Chan wild. “I think it’s kinda sexy.”

Chan’s hand slowed and he sat back a little, their dicks only connected now where Changbin’s mushroom head lay heavily against Chan’s on his stomach. “You really want someone to wake you out of a dead sleep by railing you?”

“Maybe?” Changbin shrugged, watching the scene a little longer. He picked up Chan’s slack, wrapping his meaty hand around the both of them, scooting a little to line them back up again. “They make it look hot. Might be nice to wake up to an orgasm.”

“I think those are called wet dreams.”

“Sometimes wet dreams can be hot as fuck, if the timing is right,” Changbin countered. “Anyway,” he tucked himself away and slid to his knees on the floor, his eyes doing that thing where it looked like he could fuck you or murder you, your choice. “Want me to suck you off?”

Chan spread his legs to accommodate Changbin’s broadness. “Be my guest.”

Changbin smirked, biting on his lower lip, and it was moments like these that Chan was certain Changbin had to know the power he held over him. He bent forward, keeping eye contact, face hovering over Chan’s fully erect dick. It was a beautiful sight to behold. He waited, breath held, but Changbin stayed put. Chan could feel his mouth downturn into a pout. “What are you waiting for?” he asked.

“You.” The eye contact, Jesus. Chan could feel his arousal surging up from low in his belly, but he cocked his head, curious. “Professor.”

“Oh, so it’s like that, is it?” Chan threaded his fingers through Changbin’s thick, dark head of hair, petting. Changbin leaned into the touch, feline. Any longer and he’d be purring, Chan just knew. “You want me to tell you what to do?”

Changbin waited, hands on knees, obedient.

It wasn’t often that they dipped into roleplay, but when they did, it was almost always the professor and the student, Chan teaching his pupil exactly what he liked and how much. It was something Changbin had suggested when they first started hooking up, and Chan couldn’t deny the sexiness of Changbin looking up at him, eyes wide, batting his eyelashes as he pretended to fumble so Chan would instruct him precisely on what to do. Though he had been a little clumsy when they first started hooking up, by then Changbin was a total pro at oral, hollowing his cheeks around Chan as if he were trying to suck a snake through a straw. He knew instinctively what Chan wanted every time, responding to his cues as if they'd been doing this for years. In terms of knowing Chan's body and what it liked, Changbin could give a TED talk.

“Touch me,” Chan commanded.

“Where, professor?” Changbin asked, patient, though his hands twitched in his lap.

“My cock. Touch my cock, close your fist around it.” He waited for Changbin to do just that, his smaller hand making his dick look _humongous_ , oh God. “Stroke it. You know how I like.”

“Yes, sir.”

Chan let his head fall back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling and just letting the sensation of Changbin jerking him off wash over him for a moment. “Kiss the tip,” he ordered next, picking his head back up. He wanted to see this.

Changbin shifted forward, his hand stilling. With his eyes locked on Chan’s, he bent and did as instructed, his plump kewpie lips framing the head of his dick looking like some Andy Warhol pop art installation. “Take it down. I wanna see you swallow it,” Chan could hear his voice going dark, saw the effect it had on Changbin, who—for the barest second—closed his eyes, mouth slackening, face turned wistful. Then he was taking Chan down just how he taught him all those months ago the first time they’d played this game, his throat relaxing, gag reflex suppressed. Chan watched his dick disappear down Changbin’s throat with no gag reflex and boggled. Only Changbin could make him feel so dumb.

“Back up,” he managed, when Changbin bottomed out. Changbin immediately slid back up the shaft, his tongue flat against the underside, his eyes locked on Chan, _fuck_. “Keep going, yeah,” Chan was starting to lose his composure, losing himself to the feeling of Changbin’s mouth on him, “just keep going like that until I tell you to stop.”

He didn’t tell Changbin to stop. And when he came, it was with Changbin’s name on his lips.

There was no more talk of sleep fucking that night.

\--

It was probably about three months into their cohabitation that Chan found out Changbin had never been in a relationship before.

“Never? Really?” Chan had asked as he watched Changbin fold his boxer briefs, sitting legs crossed on their couch in only a black tank and thin shorts. He was all muscle and skin and _guy_ , and Chan was already distracted. “Do you just prefer casual, or…?”

Changbin shrugged, taking the shirt Chan had finished folding and adding to the pile next to him. “Never had the opportunity. Stars never aligned for me, I guess.”

“With an ass and shoulders like yours? That seems suspect.”

Changbin laughed, a bright sound. They had split an edible earlier and Chan thought the weed was already affecting him, maybe. No, he nodded, definitely. “Who says it wasn’t me saying no?” Changbin said, all sass. “Maybe my ass isn’t the settling down type.” He sighed and leaned back into the sofa, staring blearily up at the nothing on the ceiling, a relaxed smile on his face. “Maybe my ass is waiting for something special.”

Oh.

They didn’t say anything for a long while after that, the both of them just folding the laundry and vibing. Changbin closed his eyes and sung along to the low-fi playlist pulled up on Chan’s laptop, his own mix. Chan was too lost in thought as he matched the socks, wondering what sort of ‘special’ person Changbin was waiting for, and was that why they didn’t kiss? Changbin deserved kisses. His mind drifted, creating wild conjectures of teenage Changbin getting shot down for the school hunk, or maybe not receiving anything on Pepero day, as Chan finished folding the rest of the load. It made him even more sad, and sad Chan plus high Chan was not a good combination.

“I’d have given you Pepero,” he mumbled into the quiet, tossing a pair of socks into the empty basket.

Changbin raised an eyebrow at him. “Thanks?” Chan flopped backwards into Changbin’s lap, demanding pets, and hummed when Changbin obliged. “You’re really fucking baked right now, aren’t you?” It could have been Chan’s imagination, but Changbin sounded… besotted. Was that a word? Yeah, that was definitely a word. He wondered why he sounded that way.

“Hmm, maybe a little,” Chan yawned, stretching catlike in Changbin’s lap, the melancholy ebbing away from him. “What, you’re not?”

“Oh no, I’m definitely fucked up.” Changbin’s fingers found their way into Chan’s hair, fanning it out over the material of his shorts. “I don’t think I’m feeling it as good as you, though.”

Chan nodded. Or, at least he thought he did. God, Changbin’s touch was amazing, especially when he scratched his nails along Chan’s scalp. His meandering train of thought was still stuck on Changbin's history and couldn't seem to change tracks. “Hey, Bin, when we’re out.”

A pause. “You gonna finish that thought, or should I do it for you? Out where?” Changbin asked, but his fingers had migrated down to Chan's earlobe and now Chan was far too distracted, wiggling a little in Changbin's lap in pleasure. It just felt so nice. “Out at the gym? Out on a run? Out of milk?”

“Out at the club. You never seem to pick up, and trust me when I say it’s not from lack of interest. I’ve seen the way people watch you.” Honestly, it was kind of sexy, watching people try and fail to catch Changbin’s attention. “If you’re not into relationships, then why not go home with somebody?”

Changbin cocked his head in consideration. “I do. I go home with you.” Chan's eyes popped open, staring out at the room at large. “At least, when you don’t pick up. Cause let’s be real here. You take care of me better than any club hookup would. I couldn’t ask for more.”

Oh. That made sense, Chan supposed. He tried not to acknowledge the way his heart had soared for half a beat and rolled over to look up at Changbin. From this angle, his chin scar was on prominent display and Chan reached up to touch it. “You like what I can do to you, is that it?” he murmured.

Changbin's mouth, already soft, quirked into a little half smile. “Yeah, hyung. I do.”

\--

“Hyung, do you want to play?”

“Play?”

Changbin huffed, adjusting his forearms where they rested on Chan’s thighs. “The game,” he elaborated, exasperation leaking into his tone. He held up the PS5 controller for emphasis.

“Nah,” Chan replied, smoothing his hands along all the naked flesh in front of him. “I know what I want to play with.” It was what he _always_ wanted to play with.

“Suit yourself.”

It had been such a good idea to push their beds together. Sure, the divot in the middle was a little annoying, and more often than not they both ended up on the same side, but the illusion of more space was enough to convince Chan this was a good idea. And now he was laid out on his back on their combined bed, head propped up, Changbin lying on top of him with his knees on either side of Chan's torso, their fronts pressed together. Changbin was naked from the waist down, giving Chan the most glorious view of his soft, silky inner thighs, along with his ass, balls, and cock, which was tucked down, the tip just visible past Changbin's sack.

At first, Chan just wanted to touch. He ran his hands all along Changbin's firm yet generous buttocks, the backs of his thighs, even the dip of his lower back. He eventually zeroed in on Changbin’s long, loose ballsack, petting at the testes inside, making them twitch. It was mesmerizing to watch. Changbin’s dick was thickened, but not yet fully erect: the mushroom tip still had a little give, the skin of it like satin. Chan's mouth watered, thinking about taking it in his mouth, but he was also feeling lazy and didn't want to move. Plus, he had a few of Changbin’s favorite toys, from his rather impressive collection, by his side.

Changbin's hole was so pretty, dainty even. Chan liked petting it the best, his fingers grazing over the shadow of it until Changbin pushed his ass back a little more, sliding his knees forward on the bed. Then his perky little whorl was on full display. Chan alternated between petting it gently and slapping it, nothing too intense but he liked the little jumps and moans it brought out of Changbin. Chan circled his thumb over it then grabbed Changbin’s ass cheeks with both hands, a little harshly so he could watch his handprints appear and disappear on Changbin's skin.

The first time he'd played with Changbin's ass, they'd been high as fuck. Changbin had been initially hesitant, but eventually he got into it, lying shamelessly splayed in front of Chan, legs frogged on either side of him. That had been a _really good day_.

Chan uncapped the tube of lube and spread it on his thumb, which he then used to spread all around Changbin's hole. Now it was pretty and glistening. Chan liked shoving just the tip of his thumb in and then watching it gape a little when he pulled it back out, as if it were searching for him. He only did this a couple of times because Changbin started grumping above him about losing his fights on Persona 5 Strikers due to distraction. Chan responded by inserting his middle finger to the second knuckle and fucking Changbin with it in earnest. “Try to concentrate on your game now,” he said wickedly.

“Fuck you,” Changbin moaned.

When he picked up the first toy, a cute pink egg vibe, Chan was sure to coat it generously in lube before allowing it to replace his finger. He held it against Changbin’s hole and waited a beat.

“What is tha— _fuck_ ,” Changbin hissed, jerking as Chan shoved the vibe inside. “Is that the new one?”

“Mhmm,” Chan replied, picking up the remote and looking it over. “Oh, it’s got three different settings. This is gonna be fun.”

“Would you say my parents’ money is well spent?”

“We’ll see. First, let’s see how powerful this thing is,” Chan said, turning it on.

Though there was no sound, Changbin instantly tensed up on top of Chan. “Okay, that’s—seriously, hyung!?” he protested, as Chan immediately upped the intensity.

“Oh, just wait. I think this button,” Chan pressed it as he spoke, and Changbin began trembling, his thighs (and hole) twitching, a whimper escaping his lips. “Hmm, yep, that’s the pulsating function. Feel good, baby?”

Changbin let his head hang down, the controller limp in his hands. His character died immediately on screen. “What else can it do?” he asked after a minute, panting.

“This,” Chan answered, pressing the same button a second time.

Changbin’s trembling ceased, and for a brief second, he looked back at Chan, brows furrowed. “Did you turn it off or--?” He bit off his words with a long moan, his back arching, his hips undulating, grinding his fully erect dick against Chan’s belly. “Oh, this one’s nice,” he purred. “Keep that up.”

“Oh, I’m not done yet,” Chan warned, picking up the other toy he’d picked out. He grinned wickedly as he turned on the wand and pressed the head of it against the head of Changbin's now-leaking dick.

“YOU FUCKER!” Changbin yowled, arching and bucking on top of Chan. The controller left his slack hands altogether and slid to the bed. Chan was relentless, however, and turned up the intensity on the wand. The sounds – the whimpers and cries—Changbin was letting out were gorgeous, music to Chan's ears. He tried to move away but Chan held him fast. When he came, it was loudly, trembling over Chan, his come flooding over Chan's abdomen, leaking into his belly button. It was the most erotic sight Chan had ever witnessed. He scooped it up and ate it without a second thought.

Afterward, Chan dragged Changbin in front of the floor-length mirror that was blu-tacked to the back of the bedroom door and watched keenly as Changbin gave head. Chan's dick was heavy, even fully fleshed out, and it hung between his legs cumbersomely, but Changbin always knew how to handle it. It wasn't long before Chan could feel his orgasm building behind his balls.

He thumbed down Changbin's bottom lip with his free hand, coming across it and his teeth and his gums and his tongue. It was one of the more satisfying orgasms Chan had ever experienced.

“So?” Chan asked Changbin afterwards, as they cleaned up together in the shower. “Money well spent?”

“I’d say so,” Changbin replied, as Chan soaped up his back. “Hey, do you think my parents ever envisioned when they drew up my trust fund that I’d spend a large bulk of it on sex toys?”

Chan snorted, taken by surprise. “Uh, probably not, Bin,” he said as Changbin turned around.

“Well, they did say to use it on what makes me happy,” Changbin shrugged, running his fingers down the planes of Chan’s torso, his gaze appreciative. “And that’s exactly what I’m doing.” He fondled Chan’s currently spent, but interested, dick. “Think I could coax you into round two?” he asked, mouthing at the join of Chan’s neck and shoulder.

Chan was so very tempted to say yes. “I kind of have plans,” he said instead, feeling deeply regretful.

Changbin hesitated for a heavy beat, his forehead pressed against the ball of Chan’s shoulder, and then pulled away, grabbing the sponge. “Oh yeah?” He indicated for Chan to turn around so he could return the favor.

“Um, Brian’s back in town,” Chan said, feeling awkward, though he didn’t know why. He and Changbin had talked about his hookups before. “He and Wonpil are still on the outs, so he asked me round to blow off a little steam. I can cancel, though, if you want.”

“Nah, dude, I’d never cockblock you like that. Tell Brian hi from me.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Changbin exited the shower pretty soon afterwards, leaving Chan to finish up. Chan tried to not let it bother him that it seemed like Changbin had stopped looking at him for the rest of the day.

\--

When Chan and Changbin first became flatmates, one of the first things they realized they had in common was a love to work out. They both thrived on the runner’s high one got after a particularly good workout.

Changbin had been the one to suggest they join the same gym. “Instant spot buddies, eh?” he’d said when he officially changed his gym membership over, his elbow digging into Chan’s ribcage.

Chan drank a lot more water whenever Changbin worked out with him, that was for certain, Chan’s mouth going dry each time Changbin changed machines with him. Chan felt blessed every time Changbin’s cut tee would gape, showing off even more of his already impressive physique. It wasn’t like he didn’t see Changbin like this (or more) at their apartment, but there was something about a public setting, where he could catch another person’s eye as they, too, watched Changbin’s muscles bunch and shift underneath his skin.

Chan was in the middle of his circuit, having just wiped down the chest press and grabbed his water bottle when he was approached.

He was on his way toward Changbin, who was finishing up over on the lat bar, when a guy who Chan had noticed a few times before walked up. “Hi,” said the guy.

“Hey,” Chan nodded back, toweling off the sweat from his face. Guy had a nice smile, and Chan couldn’t help but echo it, sticking out his hand. “I’ve seen you around before, haven’t I? My name’s Chan. What’s your name?”

“Oh! Yeah!” Cute Guy grabbed the hand, both pumping it and bowing enthusiastically. “I’m Donghyun! Nice to meet you!”

Chan tilted his head, licking the bead of water off his upper lip, smirking when he saw Cute Guy—Donghyun—track the movement. Chan bit the corner of his lip and gave Donghyun an obvious once-over. “Well, it's nice to meet you, too! What can I do for you?”

“Um, I just wanted to tell you,” the smile dipped shy, making Chan coo internally. He was far too adorable with his fluffy hair and blushing cheeks; Chan hadn’t pulled someone so cute in a while. He might have been in love with his flatmate, but he wasn’t dead.

“Yeah?” Chan encouraged, angling himself in a way he knew broadcasted interest.

“Oh, um,” the blush burned even brighter. This kid, gosh. “I wanted to say that um, I just recently came out and, like, seeing you and your boyfriend being so sweet together, it’s really helped give me the courage to live and tell my truth.” Donghyun blew out a visibly shaky breath. “Wow, okay. Sorry for rambling. I just wanted to thank you both for being such an inspiration.”

Chan’s smile froze. His what now? “Oh, wow! Congratulations! That’s so big, man, that really is,” Chan floundered, backing up a confused step, still stuck on ‘you and your boyfriend.’ “But I don’t—I don’t have a—”

“Yah, Chan-hyung! The pulldown bar’s free.” Changbin walked up, immediately placing a hand on Chan’s shoulder, squeezing, and suddenly it clicked. “Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?”

“Hi!” Donghyun perked up, thrusting his hand at Changbin. “I’m Donghyun, I was just telling your boyfriend that I’ve seen you two a handful of times here and how inspiring it’s been watching you two be so open about your relationship in such a public place—”

Chan watched Changbin mouth the word boyfriend, his eyebrows disappearing under his ballcap. He pretended not to notice when Changbin’s gaze slid to Chan’s and then slid away again.

“—I just recently came out to my friends myself, and I honestly believe part of the courage that took I gained from you both.” Donghyun bowed deeply at them. “So I wanted to thank you.”

“I’m really happy for you, Donghyun-ssi, but Changbin and I, we’re not—”

“We’re really happy we could help, even in such a small way,” Changbin interrupted, lowering his arm to around Chan’s waist as he sketched a bow at Donghyun. The slide from shoulder to lower back made Chan shiver involuntarily; he could feel the heat on every centimeter where it burned against his body. He did his best to keep a neutral face.

After a few more minutes of polite conversation, Donghyun bowed his goodbyes and departed. Chan, still feeling railroaded, turned and simply looked at Changbin.

“What?” Changbin asked mildly, leading Chan over to the (thankfully still empty) lat bar and beginning to add weight to it. “It’s sweet that he gained strength from us.”

“It is, but… you really want that guy to think we're together?”

“Half the people here think we're together, hyung,” Changbin laughed, but it sounded tight.

Chan took a step back, confused. “What?”

Changbin pursed his lips. Chan could hear the sigh running through Changbin’s body, even if he didn’t let it escape his lungs. “It doesn't even matter. We're barely ever here together, it's not like we’ll need to keep up a charade. If it really bothers you that much, I'll just stop coming with you. Problem solved.”

Changbin snatched up his towel and turned to leave. Chan stopped him with a hand on his arm before he could get away, turning him around. “Hey, Changbin, wait,” he said, hands sliding to Changbin’s waist placatingly, thumbs at the cut and swell of his abdomen, which he could feel above the band of Changbin’s shorts. “What makes you think I don’t want you here? I love having you here. Don’t tell Jisung, but you know you’ve become my best friend, right?” He felt frustrated, unmoored. He didn’t have a handle on what was going on and that made his skin prickle. He tucked the knuckle of his finger under Changbin’s chin. “Hey, look at me. Are we okay?” he asked, trying to catch Changbin’s eye.

Changbin backed up and adjusted his cap, settling it lower until all Chan could see was the bridge of his nose and his small mouth. “Yeah, hyung. We're good.” He offered up a smile that Chan didn't quite believe. It made him want to go outside and holler at the sun.

“Okay, Binnie,” he said in place of primal scream therapy. “If you say so.” And watched as Changbin walked away.

\--

It was later that week, during a lazy Wednesday night when none of the bars or clubs they frequented were doing anything noteworthy, that they decided to spend the evening in together. Things between them were still a little stilted, but they had mellowed significantly since the gym. Still, Changbin looked a little surprised when Chan came out of their bedroom with his hairbrush held out like a peace offering.

Changbin had started growing out his hair a little for a while now, and he was super into Chan brushing it for him. What Chan thought was just a passing favor— “Comb my hair for me, hyung? I can’t get all the tangles.” –had now become somewhat of a shared ritual. Not one they indulged in often, but when they did Chan felt like he floated on air for a good week afterwards.

Chan had Changbin kneel between his legs while he sat in the one weird chair in their apartment that wasn’t exactly good for anything except for this very thing. It was too straight-backed for comfort, a solid pea green wingback that Chan had rescued off the street. But it was perfect for this. Changbin knelt between Chan’s knobby knees, his back perfectly straight and his hands folded in his own lap, so obedient. So pretty. Chan took his time, brushing through Changbin’s hair slowly, watching it feather around his fingers.

Changbin closed his eyes and sighed deeply, relaxing into the touch. He was bare except for a pair of pale pink panties, something Chan had found out about a while back. When Changbin realized he wasn’t about to be judged over it, he began wearing them around the apartment unfettered. Most of the time he wore them under his clothes and would flash Chan a strip of material if he asked. Or, Chan would see them in the dirty clothes hamper, small and pastel—usually in pinks or yellows or purples—against their usually dark laundry. He _did_ not pull them out and sniff them on occasion, that would be a disgusting thing to do. He certainly didn’t steal a pair and keep them in his own bedside drawer to jerk off into in his alone time.

But some nights, like tonight, Changbin would wear nothing but, and those were the nights that made Chan's knees the weakest. The sight of Changbin’s little feet tucked underneath his beautifully rounded butt, the panties leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination; that sight was a crowd favorite. Once he was done brushing Changbin’s hair, Chan would then take his time tracing along all that bare skin, watching gooseflesh pebble in his wake. Along his shoulders, down his arms, circling his elbows and back up; the pads of his fingers a gentle pressure on Changbin’s nape, then softer along the ridge and dip of his spine. Spread outwards, and the full span of Chan’s hands would be against Changbin’s lower back, feeling the warmth and firmness of his gorgeously defined muscles, which twitched underneath his touch.

Soon he would have Changbin laid belly-down on the floor, their softest blanket already spread out underneath him in anticipation. Chan would mount the back of Changbin’s thighs and just touch his fill, kneading his muscles slowly, a bottle of expensive body lotion next to them, a splurge. He would palm Changbin’s ass in those pretty cotton panties and knead the flesh, spreading his cheeks apart, thumbs pressing in on the pucker that lay underneath. Changbin would be motionless underneath him, eyes closed, blissed out, floating. Trusting. And Chan would take that trust in hand and show Changbin what a good decision it was to give it to him. That Chan would never hurt Changbin, would never take advantage of him. And the more trust Changbin handed him, the more Changbin allowed. And soon, Changbin was handing over so much.

Chan bent and brushed his lips over the nape of Changbin’s neck, delighting in the shivers the touch invoked. “Good, baby,” Chan crooned, petting through Changbin’s hair one more time, making him tremble, his mouth open the tiniest little bit, faintly panting.

He kissed down Changbin’s spine; Changbin was silent beneath him, eyes closed still but body relaxed and placid. Open. When Chan got to the panties, he couldn’t resist mouthing at Changbin’s ass through the thin, satiny material. So pretty. So pink. Saliva showed up way too easily. Chan spread Changbin’s ass again and lapped at his hole through the fabric. Changbin’s tremble had followed him down his body, and now his thighs were shaking. It was a sight to behold.

Chan guided Changbin onto his back, his front now flushed and pliant, ready to be worshipped. And worship Chan did, giving Changbin’s generous chest and stomach the same treatment. Kisses, touches, licks, even small, dainty bites just so Chan could watch his skin pinken, shallow bite marks across his skin appearing like soft spring flowers. He took a nipple each into his mouth and rolled the tip of his tongue along the nubs.

Changbin was tented in his panties, but Chan ignored that, instead making his way down Changbin’s quivering thighs. He pushed his knees apart, tracing his lips along the prominent vein of his inner thighs. Changbin was breathing heavily above him, but still his body remained loose, completely on offer.

Chan continued his body worship, kissing and thoroughly touching every inch of skin. He worked his way down and back up, kissing knees, scratching his nails lightly along calves and outer thighs. Soon, he was back at the center of his attention. It was a crime to slide the panties down Changbin’s legs, but a necessary one to get to the prize in the center of it all. Chan lay between Changbin’s splayed legs and licked and petted at his hole, his ministrations just as soft and sweet as everything else tonight. He ignored his own straining erection, instead placing his palm flat over Changbin’s cock, pressing it against his abdomen and coaxing him slowly as his tongue lapped at Changbin’s pucker.

When he slid two fingers in, it was while he laid next to Changbin and cradled him against his chest, Changbin’s body still so slack and pliant. Chan thrust and hooked his fingers just so, Changbin’s eyelashes fluttering as Chan pressed kiss after kiss along his skin. It was the combination, probably, that tipped Changbin over, and when he came it was with the smallest, sweetest exhalation of breath, a sound that easily seared its way onto Chan’s heart.

Afterward, Chan cleaned Changbin up and carried him to their shared bedroom. Laying Changbin down carefully, Chan stretched out next to him and just stayed, not touching until Changbin began to stir and initiated contact again, knowing how overwhelmed he could become. At first, it was just an arm thrown over Chan’s middle, Changbin indicating he wanted a cuddle. Then, when Chan pulled him close and sang lowly, bits of songs that ebbed and flowed idly into his mind, Changbin pulled Chan's hand toward him, toward his skin. Granting permission again. All the while Chan sang, he kept up the constant touching, tracing nonsensical patterns along Changbin’s skin. The gentleness of the moment bled on, until Chan felt his eyelids growing heavy.

Just as he was about to drift, he heard Changbin’s dusk-colored voice come back to life. “Chan,” he tried, getting it out on the fourth try.

“Shh, baby, I’m here.” Chan kissed the top of Changbin’s head.

“I know,” Changbin whispered.

They fell asleep that way, tangled.

\--

Chan sat on the small stool they’d drug into the bathroom, watching Changbin flit back and forth, gathering supplies. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I can take care of myself.”

They had been out with Minho and Jisung at their favorite little bar on The Hill, the one with the drag bartender who laughed like Kang Ho-dong and poured the best maksa cocktails in Itaewon. It had been plenty crowded despite it being pretty early in the night still, and Chan had found himself elbow-to-elbow at the bar when he saw it. A guy twice his size had Jisung cornered against the other end, and by the look on Jisung’s face, it wasn’t desired attention. Chan had acted on instinct.

“You proved that pretty well back at the club, hyung,” Changbin replied, dumping everything into the sink because their countertop was itty bitty. Even Felix couldn’t sit on the ledge. “Did you have to punch that guy, though? You might have gotten us banned from one of the few good places in the city.”

“He wouldn't leave Jisung alone. If I hadn't punched him, Minho would probably be up on murder charges right now.”

“Here, let me see it.” Planting himself firmly in Chan’s space, Changbin took the injured hand gingerly between both of his own and clucked at it, turning it every which way. “Looks worse than it is, probably. Nothing looks misaligned, at any rate. We’ll clean it up and then take a look at it in the morning. Wait and see approaches are usually best, as long as no one’s missing a limb. That’s what my dad always says, anyway.”

Chan tucked his head into Changbin’s chest. He rather liked this side of his roommate; he’d never seen it before. Made him feel cared for. “Whatever you say, boss.”

Changbin rolled his eyes. “Boss, huh? Does that mean you’ll start listening to me more?”

“Ha, probably not.”

Changbin barked out a quick laugh. “I expected as much.”

Warmth blossomed in Chan’s chest as he watched Changbin clean and bandage his battered knuckles. Every touch was tender, concise so as not to further aggravate his injury, all while he let Chan lean against him, in full parent mode. At the end of it, Changbin even bent and pressed his lips softly to the back of Chan’s hand, a kiss that curved into a dazzling smile as Changbin’s gaze shifted back up to Chan’s face. “There,” he said, his voice having tucked into a whisper, the usual raspiness gone. Chan was starstruck.

The smile fell from Changbin’s face slowly, however, and he turned to clean up all the supplies. “It sucks you didn’t pick up tonight, I know you were flirting pretty heavily with that guy, the blonde. He seemed into you. Did you at least get his number?” Changbin’s voice sounded weird, too casual. Chan didn’t like it. He didn’t like that Changbin’s attention wasn’t on him anymore, either. He definitely didn’t like that his smile was gone.

“Changbin.”

“Hmm?”

Chan reached out, his fingers just grazing Changbin’s wrist, making it still. He leaned forward and circled that wrist, gently tugging Changbin back around. “I want to see something. Can you smile for me again?”

Changbin’s brow furrowed. “What? Hyung—”

“Please. For me.”

Changbin rolled his eyes and huffed out a breath, but then he did as Chan asked. Sort of. The smile was only half-there, a rictus of the one he’d given Chan just a moment ago. Still, “I didn’t know you had a dimple.”

Changbin cocked his head. “I don’t?”

“You do,” Chan reached up and gently poked the side of Changbin’s face with his fingertip. “Just there.”

“Ah,” Changbin’s smile grew smaller but more real as he brushed Chan’s hand from his face, pulling it down and tangling their fingers together. “If you say so, hyung.”

Time suspended as they stared at one another, Chan letting out a breath that he had been holding in his chest for a very long time.

Changbin bent down and met Chan halfway. Of that Chan was sure.

The first time they ever hooked up was the first time Chan saw Changbin in a sweater, about two months into their cohabitation. It wasn't overly cute, the sweater, just a simple beige and pastel color block jumper paired with some sensible chinos and neutral-colored Vans. But it wasn't the usual black-on-black-and-maybe-some-dark-grey combo Chan had been used to.

Changbin had explained that he’d just gotten back from lunch with his parents, a bi-monthly occasion that they insisted he "look nice" for. He looked so soft, so unlike the Changbin Chan had become accustomed to, that Chan felt himself inexplicably drawn to him. Drawn to the gentle curl in his hair, the brightness a little bit of concealer and lip gloss brought to his face. Changbin was always attractive, he already ticked so many of Chan’s boxes, but it was as if Chan had become aware of it for the first time just then.

Chan became proprietary, touching Changbin more than he normally would; a hand on a knee or a shoulder here, a pinch or tickle to his side there.

It was actually a tickle fight, brought on by Chan's incessant need to touch, that had them writhing against each other, grinding together in some sort of preface to a high school dry hump.

Chan had no self-restraint; he pulled pretty, soft, pastel Changbin against him, back to front, his fingers merciless at his sides. Changbin jerked and wiggled on top of him, laughing loudly, and his ass on Chan's lap was causing all kinds of fun things to happen all at once. Changbin slid off Chan's lap in a fit of giggles to the floor and Chan followed, his fingers finding their way underneath Changbin's sweater, sliding against warm, smooth skin. Changbin continued writhing but by then all context had been stripped away, and when he reached between them to cup Chan between the legs, the laughter was gone. For a long moment they just moved in sync, Changbin rolling his hips up, Chan grinding down, Changbin's sweater rucked up between them. Their gazes were heavy and locked on one another, but when Chan moved in for the expected kiss, Changbin turned his head away. Disappointment thrummed through Chan, but he didn’t dwell on it, and instead lowered his head to Changbin’s throat. He wasn’t stopped then. He didn't stop then.

Hyunjin came over later that evening, took one look at Changbin’s marked-up neck and announced, “Gross!” to the room at large. He shook a finger in Chan’s face and told them both to never let him see shit like that again, and then exited the way he came.

Chan expected more of the same tonight, his bandaged knuckles brushing the ridge of Changbin’s cheekbone in prelude, so a thrill ran through his very senses when Changbin didn’t turn away, when he finally met him halfway, when finally Chan got to taste Changbin for real. And he wasn’t even drunk for it.

Changbin hesitated for a _second_ and then climbed artlessly onto Chan’s lap and drank him down, one hand on Chan’s jaw, holding him still as their mouths moved against each other. Chan opened up underneath Changbin, who plunged his tongue inside, and suddenly it was both too fast and far too slow, Chan’s fist in Changbin’s shirt rucking it up, exposing all that gorgeous skin Chan wanted to touch and lick and bite at. Changbin twisted off, panting, and asked, “Was that okay?”

“Yeah,” Chan breathed. “A little fast, but, yeah. It was perfect, Bin.”

“Perfect?” Changbin laughed flatly. “How drunk are you?” But he didn’t wait for an answer, his mouth back on Chan’s.

‘I love you,’ Chan wanted to say, so desperately the words were already on their way out of his mouth before he caught them, morphed them into another deep desire. “God, I wanna fuck you,” Chan groaned into Changbin’s mouth.

Something shifted in the air then, Changbin pulling away and sliding down and, what, how, why wasn’t he looking at Chan anymore? Changbin went to his knees between Chan’s legs, his head bent and his fingers deft as they undid Chan’s belt and zipper. “You can fuck my mouth,” he said lowly, and. That wasn’t what Chan had asked for. But something told him it was all he was going to get.

So he nodded. But Changbin wasn’t looking at him anymore, at least not at his face, so on the third try, his voice halfway gone, he said, “Okay.”

\--

Later, they lay wedged together on Chan’s tiny futon couch, Changbin’s head pressed back against Chan’s chest, arms on either side of his thighs, playing Lego Star Wars together like they’d done every night after getting home from the clubs.

“I fucking _hate_ that there’s no split screen,” Changbin complained like he did every time they played, making faces at the television. Chan could admit that he wasn’t paying attention to the game at all. He was too busy staring at Changbin’s swollen lips, and for once not in a sexy way.

“Hey, Binnie?”

Changbin shifted, eyes narrowing at the screen, fingers ceaseless on the controller. “Yeah, hyung?”

Chan sighed, head rolling to one side to look at Changbin from his periphery. “You don’t have to answer this, it’s none of my business, but… how come you don’t want to have sex with me? I mean, we do so many other things, I’m just curious.”

Changbin stilled, and for a second Chan didn’t think he was going to answer. When he did, it was with a simple, too blunt, “You can fuck me.”

The internal jolt of surprise had Chan staring. His Lego character walked off the ledge he'd been balanced on. “I can?”

Changbin put down his controller, shifting to give Chan his full attention. The smile he sent Chan’s way was small, though. “Of course you can. I just didn't know you were interested.”

“But—the bathroom.”

Changbin’s eyebrows shot into his hairline. “You mean you want to do it tonight? I'd need a little more preparation than that. I haven't sat on anything your size in a while. My favorite dildo isn’t even as big as your dick.” Chan blinked; he didn't think he was especially big. “And—” Changbin did something Chan had never seen him do before. He blushed. “I wasn’t kidding about wanting you to fuck me awake. It's really not much different from what we've done before.”

Chan sat back, the Imperial Theme continuing on as Darth Vader and Boba Fett wavered back and forth impatiently onscreen. It was the blush that did him in. “You’re really into that, huh? Okay,” he agreed after a minute, shrugging. “If that's what you want, Changbin. I'm in.”

Changbin was silent, staring at Chan like he was trying to memorize his features. Then he took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh, his shoulders releasing. “Thanks, hyung.” The smile he shot Chan was genuine, but to him it looked a little… hesitant. Worried, Chan tugged Changbin back against him. He was encouraged, though, when he felt Changbin relax, draping himself along Chan bonelessly. He turned his face into Chan’s throat and Chan made a noise of contentment.

“I want us to sit down and talk about it properly, though, okay? Despite what Minho may have told you, I don't regularly fuck people in their sleep.”

“I know, hyung,” Changbin said on a chuckle, bringing their mouths together. He let them mingle for a little, so close, an invitation. Chan flicked his gaze from Changbin’s mouth to his eyes and back before closing the gap. The thrill of Changbin’s lips against his was still there; Chan had to wonder if it was ever going to go away. If this was exciting because it was new or because it was Changbin. He was pretty certain he already knew that answer (both).

Changbin leaned back, attention already back on the game. “So yeah, we’ll talk. Until then,” Changbin plopped the controller back in Chan's hands. “Help me find these minikits.”

Chan felt his mouth split into a smile, warmth flooding through him, from his flushed cheeks down. He was so stupidly in love. “Okay, boss.”

\--

Chan entered the bedroom as silently as he could manage, the door hardly making a sound as he closed it. It was dim, but not dark, a piece of sheer fabric thrown over the desk lamp, casting a soft rainbow of color about the room. In the corner was a candle Changbin had found online whose glass container read _When Lit Give Me That Dick_. A worthy addition to the room décor, to be sure. Chan had to admit it looked a lot nicer this way, you could hardly tell that it had been days since anyone had dusted in the room.

They’d sat down at Chan’s favorite café (that Changbin only tolerated, grumbling out, “the things I do for you,” as they sat down). They hashed out how everything would go over blueberry scones and tea that Changbin only grimaced at a little. But they’d hashed out a plan and decided on a night.

And the night had arrived.

Chan had waited as long as he could stand it, each minute so drawn out it felt like weeks, like months, a year, playing a video game he couldn’t have given the name of while he waited for Changbin to fall asleep. Proper sleep, deep into REM state so he wouldn’t be woken so easily. Changbin had taken a 2mg dose of melatonin, too, just for that extra push under. Chan didn’t think such a low dose was going to do much, but Changbin pointed out that he _did_ want to wake up at some point and enjoy what was happening. Plus he didn’t take horse tranquilizers to fall asleep like some people he knew, _cough Chan cough_.

Chan didn’t know what he expected to see when he walked into the room. Somehow, Changbin bare-chested and asleep, curled up with just a sheet keeping him modest, it was an image he’d seen probably a hundred times by now. Yet it still did things to Chan, filling his chest with an arousal he hadn’t expected. This was all Changbin’s idea, this wasn’t supposed to be Chan’s bag, but seeing Changbin unconscious and vulnerable, knowing he could do things to him, _dirty_ things, surprisingly lit a fire inside of him. It was sexy as hell.

But it was also more than that.

It wasn't lost on Chan just how much trust something like this involved. Just how much control Changbin was giving up. All of it, really. This was a game they played often, but not ever for these stakes.

He looked so peaceful, his face relaxed in sleep, his mouth not quite open, the gummy threads of his lip balm—applied hours ago—creating spider webs across his plush lips that Chan wanted to lick off. It probably tasted like wax, but in Chan’s head it was strawberry flavored, sweet and cloying like Changbin himself sometimes, when he wanted something or when he was being purposefully annoying.

Chan stripped quickly, easy as all he was wearing were a tank and basketball shorts, and grabbed the lube off the top of the dresser. He stood before Changbin for a long moment, jacking himself to full hardness. Astonishingly, it felt only a little weird jerking his cock while watching someone else sleep, which was something he wasn't going to examine too deeply just then.

He put his knee on the bed, careful not to jostle Changbin—watching closely—but he never stirred. Chan pulled the sheet down and off, the arousal that had been cooking at a low simmer in his chest heating up, threatening to boil over. Changbin looked like something that needed to be devoured, all strong, defined back muscles that flowed down into Chan’s favorite bubble butt, the black bands of Changbin’s favorite jockstrap the only thing sectioning off all that pretty flesh. Changbin had waxed afresh for the occasion, and Chan knew if he parted those generous cheeks, he’d see the cutest little jewel-ended plug, bought especially for tonight, keeping Changbin open and ready for him. His thighs were like trunks, hair sparse as it climbed up his legs. One knee was bent while Changbin lay on his side with an arm tucked under his pillow, his back to Chan. Chan watched his slow, steady breathing and fell in love all over again. He wanted to kiss Changbin awake and fuck him so slowly, hold him down with their hands threaded and watch him come apart underneath Chan. And maybe he could still do that; Changbin had pulled nothing off the table. Chan was free to do whatever he wanted, the only stipulation being that Changbin wanted to wake up with Chan buried inside him.

Sat back on his haunches at the foot of the bed, Chan traced his fingertips up Changbin’s ankle and along his leg until he reached his knee, where he splayed his hand, his caress turned firmer as he inched up Changbin’s muscular thigh. Still, Changbin didn’t rouse. Chan dared to bend and press a kiss to Changbin’s hip but still—nothing. If you counted Changbin’s mouth opening the barest bit and a little snore escaping as nothing.

Chan spooned himself carefully behind Changbin, thankful for cheap memory foam mattresses that didn’t make half the sounds an inner spring usually did. He dared to press a light kiss to the nape of Changbin’s neck, holding there and breathing him in—salt, sweat, soap, something floral? —as he gently guided Changbin’s leg up along the bed, the angle sharper, allowing better access. He couldn’t resist mouthing at the join of Changbin’s neck and shoulder as he felt for the base of the plug and pulled it out as slowly as he dared, centimeters at a time, stopping anytime there was a shift in Changbin’s features. After an excruciatingly long, drawn-out moment it was out, Chan tossing it behind him on the bed as he reached between them again and felt for Changbin’s hole.

Pleased to find it still wet and plenty loosened, he slid his fingers in to the first knuckle. The entire time, he kept his attention trained on Changbin’s face, watching for any signs that he might be waking up. Changbin sighed a little, once, and shifted some in his sleep, but his face remained relaxed, features slack, lips still parted—God, Chan wanted to kiss them or, better yet, slip his fingers in between, but he dared not. He could have his fun later. This part was all for Changbin.

Deciding that Changbin was loosened up enough, Chan slid his fingers out and uncapped the lube. He slicked his cock up hurriedly and tossed the lube next to the plug before putting a hand on Changbin’s hip. He had to tear his gaze away from Changbin’s face, which he could hardly see anyway, and focus on lining his cock up and pressing inside, all while making sure his partner stayed sound asleep. It was exactly as difficult as it sounded. It took a little awkward shifting on his end, determined not to move Changbin any more than was strictly necessary, but soon the head of Chan’s dick popped its way inside of Changbin.

Part of him wanted to shake Changbin awake once he was fully inside, but he knew that wasn’t exactly the experience Changbin was going for. Chan gave himself a handful of moments for both of their bodies to adjust, and while he did so, he looked and touched his fill of Changbin’s face and body, his touch as feather soft as he could manage. For a handful of breaths, Chan just stared down at Changbin, ignoring the absolute need to fuck into him, and just watched him sleep. He was incredibly beautiful, with his high, rounded cheekbones and monolids tipped with generous, dusky lashes. Chan didn’t really ever get a chance to just look his fill, it would be far too weird during waking hours. But here, with Changbin fast asleep, it was… nice. Really nice. He smoothed his hand down Changbin’s arm to his stomach, following that further to the pouch of his jock, cupping it gently. Changbin wasn’t hard, but he was plumper than usual, and Chan’s fingers wasted no time in figuring out the position of it, fingertips closing around the head.

It was silent, despite the lo-fi hip hop playlist queued up and crooning softly in the corner from Changbin’s phone. Chan had never had sex with anyone who wasn’t at least enthusiastically returning his advances, and he found he had to keep the thought that Changbin _wanted_ this, that _he said yes_ to this, forefront in his mind.

He stroked Changbin through the fabric of his jockstrap, his touch medium, neither firm nor light, a median he hoped would translate to something nice in Changbin’s dream state, but not enough to wake him. He knew already that it was a mistake to go without a condom. Everything was heightened, skin to skin, Changbin’s body holding Chan inside him so beautifully, a perfect sheath, even with the plug having kept him gaped. It felt better than heaven, and he wondered not for the first time why it took them so long to get to this point. Chan wanted—more than _anything_ —to clamp his lips around the tendon on the side of Changbin’s neck and pound into him with everything he had. But. He couldn’t.

Chan did dare to draw his hips back just a few centimeters, and—stopped, at the quiet mewl Changbin let out by his ear. Chan’s gaze shot up from where he’d been laser focused on where their bodies were joined, staring, alarmed, at Changbin.

Whose wrinkled forehead smoothed out as he appeared to drop right back into sleep.

Chan let out a breath, though the tension hardly left his body. This was more intense than he had originally thought it would be. Still, it was incredible, if unconventional, and if this was what did it for Changbin, he’d sleep-fuck him every night.

Gathering Changbin close, he fucked into him as slowly as he could manage, his hips undulating smoothly, pulling out and back in just an inch or two at a time. It was just enough friction to satiate, to make Chan's eyes flutter closed off their own volition. He just barely bit off the moan trying to crawl out of his mouth.

Changbin’s bangs had managed to fall in his eyes, and Chan tenderly tucked them behind his ear again with his free hand, the one not propping him up so he could manage the best angle for thrusting inside Changbin.

He traced the line of Changbin’s jaw with his fingers and followed with his lips, pressing kiss after kiss along the sharp ridge. “Changbin,” Chan whispered against his skin, his own heart hammering inside his chest because he knew he couldn’t keep it contained anymore, he knew it was going to spill out everywhere, he _knew_ going into this that he was _fucked_. “I… I love you, you fucker.” He let out a shuddering breath. “I want to tell you to your face so bad, but I’m so scared you’ll reject me.” The next kiss he pressed onto Changbin landed just under his ear, where he whispered again, “I love you.”

Finally, with adrenaline coursing through him and the urge now too great, Chan grabbed Changbin’s hip with one hand, thrusting forward. It was difficult at this angle to get a consistent rhythm going, but it still felt amazing. Soon, though, Chan needed more.

In a daring move, Chan lifted Changbin’s thigh up high, angling his hips better and thrusting as deeply as he could. The continual slide and catch of Changbin’s rim around his cock sent wave after wave of pleasure coursing through him. Chan fucked into Changbin for all he was worth. He could feel the pain as he bit down on his lip in concentration, but it paled in comparison to everything else. Chan’s grip on Changbin’s thigh tightened.

And then there was another hand overtop Chan’s, and Changbin’s thigh was moving, hooking over Chan’s leg. Chan looked up and—Changbin was staring back at him, eyes half-lidded but pupils blown, panting in time to each thrust.

“You’re awake,” Chan gasped dumbly.

“I love you, too,” Changbin said in answer, his voice gone low and throaty, the husk in it exaggerated. “You fucker.”

Chan huffed out a delighted laugh and surged forward, pulling Changbin into a fiery kiss. Changbin’s free hand looped around Chan’s shoulders, keeping him close as he kissed back, mouth opening under Chan, inviting him. They were as close as they’d ever been, Chan enveloping Changbin in his arms from shoulder to torso, their mouths hardly separating except to breathe. All the while, Chan’s hips never let up. The shape they made…

He reached down and palmed Changbin’s cock, still trapped in the pouch of his jockstrap, now fully erect and straining the fabric. He tucked his hand inside and pulled it out, stroking it in time to his thrusts. He liked the way it fit in his hand, short but more than a handful. His thumb found the slit and smeared the precome all over, taking it with him on the downstroke and easing his way. Changbin dipped his head down and watched as Chan stroked and fucked him for a little while, his body taut against him, before looking back up and finding Chan’s lips with his own. “I didn’t know it could feel like this,” his mouth against Chan’s jaw. The stubble burn would stick around for a few days after, making a jolt of desire lance through Chan every time he saw it and remembered.

“Good?” Chan asked.

“More.” 

Chan renewed his pace and they kissed and fucked, Changbin making gorgeous, encouraging noises against Chan's ear.

“Are you close?” Chan panted after a while, feeling the sweat trickle down his brow.

“Yeah, God,” Changbin let his head fall back, Chan quick to bend and trace his lips along the line of his exposed throat. “I’m so close, I feel so good, hyung,” Changbin moaned, his voice ramping up into a whine. “Please never stop fucking me, please," he begged, and while impossible, Chan was willing to do his damnedest to fulfill whatever Changbin asked of him.

It wasn't long before, with a cry, Changbin tensed and came, his ass clamping around Chan’s cock, milking Chan’s own orgasm from him at the same time. It felt like fire washing over Chan, intense and encompassing, and for that instant, Changbin was his whole world. Chan didn’t mind in the slightest.

For a bit afterward, they just breathed each other, coming down together. Chan disengaged as gingerly as he could and felt around for the plug. He inserted it back in to prevent leakage. Plus, he kind of liked the idea of Changbin being filled by him.

Lying there with Changbin’s head on his chest, Chan felt a deep contentment, taking with it every reservation Chan ever had about this whatever he had going with Changbin. They could define it later, right now he just wanted to sink into Changbin and sleep for days.

“Hyung, thank you,” Changbin murmured against Chan’s clavicle.

Chan huffed out a laugh. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been thanked after sex before.”

“Well, you should be,” Changbin scoffed. “Your cock is fucking magic. I couldn’t have asked for a better first time.”

Chan hummed, feeling warm and satiated. Then Changbin’s words registered. “Wait, what? First time, you mean our first time fucking?”

Changbin sounded, above all things, bashful. Would the new experiences ever cease. “For us, yes. And for me.”

Chan picked his head up, looking down at Changbin, a jolt of surprise running through him. “You—?”

“Yep.” Changbin’s smile was soft and sly, like the cat that fucking devoured the canary and then went back for seconds.

No fucking way. Chan echoed his thoughts aloud: “No. No fucking way _this_ is the first time you’ve had sex.”

Changbin slid his gaze over Chan’s face, making him feel stripped raw, even more naked than he already was. He sucked his lip into his mouth, his eyes watching Chan’s watch him in a loop. “What can I say? I wanted the best.”

Chan sat up. “My mind is just blown. You were a virgin this whole time? I mean, not that it’s a big deal, it _isn’t_ , it’s just—I had _no_ _idea_.” Chan was stunned.

Changbin snickered and propped himself up on his elbows, his naked body on unapologetic display, the line of come on his hip absurd and rather mocking. “I read a lot, okay? And spent my formative years watching _way_ more porn than I probably should have. But,” he raised his leg, tracing his foot along Chan’s, “I’ll take it as a compliment that you never figured it out.”

“I kind of wish I’d known—not that it matters, really—I just would have liked to make it special, you know?” Chan murmured into Changbin’s skin, mouth pressed against the side of his face. He felt the shiver as it ran through Changbin.

“You did, though? You made it exactly as special as I wanted it to be,” Changbin replied. He moved onto his side and folded himself back into Chan, who welcomed him gladly. “I'm really happy it was you.”

“Can I just ask one more time—why did you want to be asleep for it?”

“Oh, that,” Changbin laughed. “Well, one: it was hot, you can admit to me now that I'm right. And two, heh,” Changbin buried his head against Chan's chest, but not before Chan saw the blush. “I knew I was going to get stupidly emotional and blurt out my feelings during. I just had no idea that you'd do it first.”

“So you really heard me say—?”

Changbin blinked. “What, that you _love_ me?” He pushed his finger into Chan's dimple, and ow, Chan was smiling too hard and it hurt. “Yeah. Turns out it's really difficult to sleep when someone’s poking you in the ass with their giant dick.” Bashful Changbin made a sudden comeback. “Did you—did you mean it?”

Chan crowed. “What the hell is this? Your ass has been exuding confidence this whole time, and _now_ you're dragging your feet?” Chan shifted so he could cradle Changbin's jaw in both hands, keeping his touch gentle because his steel-boned roommate was suddenly stamped fragile. “I think about you every minute of every day. And I know you know that, there’s no way I’m not obvious. I think you’re the bees knees, the cat’s meow—”

Changbin groaned, pushing Chan away unsuccessfully.

“—the monkey’s eyebrow, the elephant’s instep—”

“Hyung!”

“—the snake’s hips, the dog’s bollocks—”

“I’m definitely not _bollocks_ ,” Changbin yowled.

“You get the idea. I think you’re it, kid. So tell me, baby, and be honest.” Chan dropped the joke, turning serious. “What do you think?”

Changbin searched Chan’s face, his own gaze intense. Chan wasn’t sure what he was seeing there, but it must have been okay because suddenly one side of Changbin's mouth quirked up, followed by the other. Then he leaned into Chan's space and kissed him, warm and solid and _real_. “I think you do.” Chan kissed the words as they left Changbin's mouth. “And I do, too. But I’m really going to need you to fuck me one more time. You know, just to be sure.”

Chan would have laughed, but he was too busy pushing Changbin back down against the mattresses.

When Chan made Changbin come a second time, the word ‘boyfriend’ was on his lips. As goofy as it sounded, Chan decided he liked that a lot.

\--

Later, as they were cleaning up and getting ready for actual bed, Changbin voiced a concern. “So, what's the story we're going to tell people about how we got together? Because I think, ‘Well, he told me he loved me while he was fucking me in my sleep,’ might raise a few eyebrows,” he said, uncapping the toothpaste.

“Not with Minho and Jisung,” Chan snorted. “But definitely Hyunjin." He turned to Changbin. "Ooh, let’s tell him first.”

Changbin snickered, which turned into a laugh, which then rolled into a full-body howl, just barely holding himself upright by the counter. “He'd never forgive us, but could you imagine his _face_? He wouldn't talk to us for weeks!”

“Not always a bad thing,” Chan agreed with a grin. Going through his nighttime skincare routine, a thought occurred to Chan. “Hey, Bin. Just _how_ experienced were you before we started hooking up?”

Changbin caught Chan’s gaze in the mirror, toothbrush stuck in his mouth. “Um.”

Chan gaped. “ _Nothing_?”

“No, not nothing! I'd done a lot of stuff before you came along. Just, outside of kissing and a couple hand jobs…” Changbin gestured, flustered. “Nothing with an actual human being.”

"Wait, if you've kissed before, then why--?"

Changbin avoided Chan's gaze. "Same reason I wanted you to fuck me in my sleep."

“Oh my God, you’re so cute. I can’t wait to take you out on proper dates now,” Chan replied with a laugh, gathering Changbin in a back hug. He watched Changbin’s blush deepen in the mirror and kissed at the apple of his cheek, stained a cherry red. Chan’s eyes widened, however, as another thought dropped like an anvil on top of the first one. “The roleplay. You weren’t being intentionally bad, were you?”

“The fuck, Chan,” Changbin bristled, shoving him away. “I was never _bad_.”

Chan shook his tube of facial cleanser at Changbin. “You little fucker, that was ingenious! You had me fooled this entire time.”

Changbin rinsed out his mouth before sidling up to Chan and cupping his face in both hands. He reached up and kissed the tip of Chan’s nose. “I know.”

"I love you, you evil genius," Chan said, turning Changbin around and kissing him proper.

Changbin looped his arms around Chan and smiled into the kiss, something secret and wicked and beautiful. "I know. "

**Author's Note:**

> Endings are _not_ my forte.
> 
> Also, I apologize for the unpolished writing. I lost about a third of this due to an issue with my word processor and had to rewrite it from memory, so I tried to stitch it back together as best I could. Not an excuse, just an explanation. Thanks for reading!


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